bad romance

Currently listening to Gaga. :)

I feel very lifeless. Imagine shopping 3 hours. Alone. Going to work and cutting for free and the fun of it. Plus, i just.. ehm.. washed hard earn money away at the one same shop. OH DEAR. (and zoe thought my shopping sprees have died down -.-)


O_O. I get insulted a lot at work. Ever since my sister... came in -.-.
People side the small one!

Except for the kids tho. They still love me :D I just got complimented till i was speechless by this one.. russian girl the other day. The THINGS she said... no one deserves THAAAT amount of praises just for teaching a little girl to paint the right way. I suspected she was being sarcastic for a moment. But then again, she looked so sincere. You could see the sincerity in her eyes! Then again, 5 yr old little girls are not capable of being sarcastic. Right?


Elena, is older now. :) and taller! That cute cute cute cute girl! Still, my favouritte student.



I am turning 17 soon! Driving, SPM, school, adulthood, here i come!
I really want something i cant get for my birthday. =x
The other materialistic items i want, i'm pretty sure i can get em myself.



ZOE CHIA, can you please come back asap? Your friend here... needs to complain.





-.- Pessimism has its ups most of the time.

Lady Gaga- Dance in The Dark :D

WHAT THIS BLOG NEEDSSSS....

• less emo-emo-emo-my-life-is-bvery-bvery-miserable posts
• MORE PICTURES. Hence my goal to take a picture of something.. everyday. and post it up!... when i blog, anyway
  
• less complaining. from now on, i'm complaining to the wall behind my computer screen! (more or less)
  
• more happy happy posts. (i should insult andrea or zhenwei more)
• GRAPHICS. i've been using this layout for the past.. year T___T i usually change it every month! days without photoshopping: 150++++ oh fuck man.
• things about life that makes someone feels happy! (ie: mcdonalds. the ultimate unhealthy soul food!)
• a GENEROUS SPONSOR. (hint hint)
  
• MORE MORE GRAPHICS.
• INTENSIVE PHOTOSHOP INDULGING.
  

Oh my my, look at my previous posts. SO VERY.. depressing. I sound so depressed this year. Dang! Actually its one of my favourite years, besides form 3! So yeah, ignore the postsss! And dont judge please. Took me so long to gather all my thoughts and put them into words. That GO TOGETHER.


So.. be nice okay? :D


By the by,
I need to revamp this thing asap.





UPDATES!

MY GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT!(this holiday) I actually made something Farid likes!
(btw, i'm working again. and.. yes, i still love it :D)
\MY CREATION! And i am so bloody proud of it. :D

Working is fun. I like to believe that where i work... gives me solitude and happiness! Hence Andrea and I visiting there daily. I mean come on, new people working together dont just bond in a day! Well, at our work place, thats where it happens. :) You make friends in one day. Plus, i like the fact we just spam nonsensical shit non stop everyday. Quote L: we are familyyy. Its a awesome way to spend your holidays. I dont regret it ONE bit! One year+ and counting! Hopefullyy i'll be back there again next yr :D

half of my "crafty" family :) hana, nadiah, farid. (the other half, not working!)
[com'on, who eats chili's when they work right ;D]

AND LET ME INTRODUCE.....

this fat thing of a dog that keeps me happy when i sleep. :D
(ahem, i have a massive amount of plushies on my bed. -.-)

i'm currently spamming many many ideas in my head for the coming year. EXCITEMENT. AH! So many colours :D Worldpeace+retro= oh so cool. Happy happy thoughts at 1.51a.m. I have no idea why.

its about time i update bout this fella.

(only good picture i have. ==)
We're currently in some sort of weird cold war right now. For whatever reason, i cant remember. But then again, we have this odd not-a-fight-but-feels-like-one sorta things sometimes. He's in the midst of sleeping. Which is usually what he does when one of us are not happy with the other. While i.. will stay awake, and curse to the stars. -.- Rigggghhhhtt. (coughs coughs)

ANYWAYS, he's sorta special to me. Correction, very special to me. Five months of enduring this giant of a kid in my life almost every single day and still counting! Who laughs like a hyena, has insane theories(which i do not follow) about being the healthiest person alive, finds amusement in tickling me till i'm near tears, and being ever so very.... sensitive and.. SENSITIVE!. Well, i'm enjoying my time with this kid cause i find all those qualities.. somehow.. extremely amusing. So yeah, hopefully he'll kembang when he sees this then automatically snaps back into hyper mode cause well... i'm being stubborn right now. (tut tut) So my mood's gonna be == for a veeerrry long time.




(i shall now stop blogging about my boyfriend.)




NEXT!
2.01.a.m.
Allergic reaction has gone down. Thanks to some brandless skin lotion. Thankgooodnesss maan. Its been itching like hell today. Kids thought i was some monster from Mars.

Oh, i'm probably gonna be the first person you know who's allergic to moisturizer.
and yes, i'm broadcasting it cause i think it's terribly cool. =x


Imagine... your face when it's sunburn, and bumpy, with extreme itchiness you would feeel if bitten by a hundred mosquitoes all on the same spot.

and the colour of tomato.

So interesting. ==



I'm bored. -.-
Should i sleep?
I think i will.
Muaha.


Hyper at 2.10a.m.. COOL!




Ending with...
Listen to Chris Brown - I'll Go
NIGHT NIGHT!

speechless

Oh boy. Oh boy oh boy.

I take horrible pictures -.-


HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRIBLE.



So much for my blogging hiatus. Heh.
Materialism is common in society these days. (cough cough) Very much embedded in myself these recent weeks, i'm ashamed to say. Somethings are just never gonna be enough. Hence the slave working, and the non-stop stress.


Judging from my brilliant skills of time management over the past few years, yes, i can obviously schedule my time perfectly.
Not.
I dont like the fact that my days are packed. I'd prefer it if it was packed cause i'm going out everyday. But then again, no work, no money to go out. So.. how?
Work work work i guess!

Damn. I make work sound like a burden.
So very different from my opinion last year. Out of the thirty days in a month, i would work 22 days. Now... only less than 15 days and i'm complaining. Its not a burden actually, i have fun at work! Its just messing up my plans =x
Heh.
I dont have enough time. AH!
I want to laze at home and sit there till something awesome into my mind and i can happily go photoshop it out. I want to go out, with enough time for both friends and family and everyone else!
I need to take my goddamn undang. -.-
My weekends are totally full.



AH.
geez, i love to complain -.-


Oh well, time management problems aside, i like life these days. Cause on top of all the stress, there are these people who actually layan me being such a daamn difficult person to be around with.


Andrea Leee leee. Everytime i work with her, i irritate and irritate and annoy and stress her out with my never ending joint questions. and Zoe, who.. err... i give a lot of problems to.


And this giant of a guy. Who.. unfortunately, chooses to stress when i'm stress. Makes life hard for himself, but yea, he doesnt listen when i tell him he does not need to be influenced by my complaints. Maybe i should make life easier for you, you know? Just blog when i'm stressed.

I stopped blogging cause i thought i didnt need to rant my frustrations in this blog anymore. Stupidly enough, i thought telling you would be enough. However... you know, you think i'm just complaining. Truth is, i'm very easily frustrated. I just want to tell you about some of it in hopes i'll feel better. It doesnt necessarily mean i'm complaining just to make your life hard. I'm not whining. I'm not asking for what i'm facing to be different or wanting it to be easier for myself. I just want you to listen.


Maybe my brain capacity is too small. I cant take stress much these days. I feel as if, if i were to worry about anything anymore, i'll die, literally. Tiny miniscule problems just keep appearing, making it one big clump of crap in my head. I dont even know what i'm worrying about anymore! The feeling of stress is just there.


But then again, i'm complaining again arent i?
I am just one extremely difficult person to be around with.

Complaining = whining.
Two words i dont like hearing, but then again, i hear it a lot.





-_____________-
ahh fuck it.

so sad. ><

this blog's officially dead until further notice.

hahah. :D

crawl.

So... even if i lost all respect for him and all. What with beating up Rihanna and etc.

Still, i gotta admit, i like this song.. =x

boston - augustana

Happiness is not long lasting. I happen to enjoy savoring every last piece of happiness about that something that made me.. well, happy and go to sleep feeling the same way. However, it doesn't last very long.


You know, for once i just want IT TO LAST. Is that so hard. -.- Funny how such a small thing can switch my mood from positive to negative. Maybe it's cause i woke up at 6.00a.m., and decided to screw my phone -.-


Ah.. whatever, i'm not going to care. At least try not to == I'm glad i'm going to work. Then i wont have so much free time today.


I don't blog as much these days. Reason is, there's not so much going on in my life. Nothing i want to blog about anyway. BECOMING.. more private. Heh. Blackie and I are currently in the Amazing Race zone. For ideas. Haha. CAMP! :D


Quite lifeless, i know, but you know.. WE ARE BORED AND THERE'S NOTHING ELSE TO DO.




--------------
9.00p.m.


I missed working :D It was fun today! However, Andrea and I are not needed this month T___T.

Had the biggest birthday party ever. About... hhhm.. 27 kids. D: Very very cool. The girls have names like Zara, and Claryss,.. very... posh for kids their age. And they had phones! PHONES. I mean, come on, they're only eight. I only got this kinda luxury when i was 12.

The birthday boy, K****, had a gigantic cake. Like.. GIGANTOUR'S CAKE. Size of two tables, to feed 27 kids. Who only ate like 1/20 of the cake, and left it behind for us. Cause apparently, they're gonna get ANOTHER cake that night. Oh, and the one paying for everything's the grandmother. Who had a prettty....tight face. You know, the kind who looks as if they've done a lot of... plastic.. work. Seriously, what a freaking waste of food and money. Some people honestly have way to much money. (and the cake wasnt even nice. Blehhh. Never ever get jelly cakes for birthdays. EVERRRR)


While being lazy, Lee and I decided to watch em kids play banana split. Haha, you know, the game which involves scissors paper stone, and splitting. To see who can stretch the most? Well, there were these two young girls, one taller than the other, and they were playing, while the boys were cheering the younger one on. Cute. :) The taller one kept moving in to let the younger one win. The game was moving backwards in a way. So the game was never ending!


Kids are sweet souls :) Honestly.



Oh, and Zhenwei is annoying shit. ANNOYING. See, i was working, and Shernning texted me, EYH WANNA GO OU? and he was alone. Since when is Shernning so random to go to OU alone, so yea... i was confused, but you know, give him the benefit of the doubt anyway. Btw, he kept asking me to tell him once i reached. AH WELL. I guessed that he was you know.. having the time of the month or something. Being weird and all. So after bringing Lee to Cotton On, where she was AMAZED! with the amount of pretty clothes, we decided to meet up with loner Shernning.

Which ended up to be my lifeless friend Zhenwei. Who kept punching me cause my attention was... diverted, i guess.




-----------------
And THAT, was my feeble attempt to blog. Boring laaaahhh.



Question: DOES ANYONE NEED A NEW LAYOUT???(for blog)
Reason: i'm in desperate need for cash. =x



During the period of exams, whenever i'm bored... i do this:

(chemistry notes. haha)

Photo editing using my phone is FUN, and ENTERTAINING. heh, for me anyway.
I'M SO BOREDDD....


-.- BOREDD! Is it too early to sleep?

or should i go read Konserto Terakhir? o.o



sigh. Why do people like to contradict what they say? Honestly, i hate it when that happens. Hate is a strong word, but yes, i hate it. Is it so hard to be satisfied about something? I mean, i was happy. TOTALLY HAPPY. I WAS SMILING. But that couldn't even last till night time. -.- When i woke up this morning, the feeling felt worse.

I don't understand why you would want to just ugh... just change moods like that. I'm too tired to deal with it. Before this, i was content. I mean, my life wasn't exactly what you would call exciting, but.. i was content, and my moods were on a static level. No extreme high, and no extreme low. Call it boring, but i was totally fine with that. These mood swings are taking a huge toll on my time. I waste so much time for such ridiculous reasons.

These days, i'm either really happy, or seriously feeling like shit. -.- How i deal with it? I sleep. Just sleep. Now that there's work, another brilliant option to avoid the problems i have to deal with. When i have any, anyway.



Or maybe i should just screw this and not give a damn anymore. Next time, i'm gonna just be quiet, and leave you alone till you get over whatever that's bothering you.


No, i'm not carefree. and no, i do not ignore problems i face by trying to forget about it.
and no, i'm not depressed. Merely irritated.

for your entertainment

I AM BORED.

WUHOOOO!.


yea -.- freedom doesnt feel so good after all. there's absolutely nothing to do! but hey, exams are over, so i guess no one can judge my time management by blogging, no?




quote my boss,
question to ask a girl: are you a good girl or... a nice girl?
according to her, a good girl goes out, goes home, and goes to bed...
a nice girl, goes out, goes to bed, and goes home.


hahahah. My face was O_O when she told me that. Quite cool tho. MADE ME THINK.
wuhooo. The lies Andrea Lee tell people about me. That girl is... unbelievable. I dont know why i consider her one of my best friends. SERRRIOUSSLY ;)



this week's not exactly how i imagined it would be. Not as.... serene. I realized, every decision you make in life reflects what kind of person you are, and whoever that is really inside you. This week, i saw some people for who they really are. :) I feel like doing something honestly. HOWEVER, my sikap terburu-buru has proved to cause me trouble many many times. Oh WELLL!. Shall shut up now. Dont want anyone badmouthing now, do we? hhhhm? :)?


even the greatest and the most respected can make the mistake of misjudgment sometimes.



I'm currently irritated, but surpressing it. Which seems to be my mood most of the time when i choose to blog. -.- Shuccccks. I really hate it when people contradict what they say. Why am i suppose to listen when you dont do the same? You have absolutely no idea how hard it is for me sometimes. NO IDEA AT. ALL.

sigh.
keep it in, keep it in, keep it alll in.



all in all, negativity aside, life's good!

freeeeeeddddoommmm=SOON!

for now... this is my entertainment :)


i find it true. Sucks, but true. Sometimes women think... waaayyy too much! and that includes me. over-thinking power to the max. We over analyse and analyse then analyse all over again!


and last minute studying during exams are USELESS! What i do.. open the book, turn around, and talk to Zoe. -.- Seems as if we have the MOST to talk about when we have to study. -.-



------------------------------

My mind is currently swirling with pessimistic thoughts. Woke up feeling quite...annoyed -.- Have you ever tried to force yourself to sleep? I really needed some sort of rest. Been slaving for a looong time. I tried sleeping. HOWEVER, my sleep SUCKED! You know the feeling that you think you're asleep but somehow your mind's still going on.... and on..... and you can hear your surroundings. Technically, i was half awake. Sort of, but i was asleep. Went on for two hours until the other black-but-not-so-black-kid called and finally put me out of my misery.


this kind of sleep causes serious migrane.


I.AM.VERY.ANNNOYEDDDDDDD. have the urge to be rude. -.-
sigh. Sometimes... not everything is okay. I'm not always OKAY! with all things. My patience and tolerance these days has deteriorated to a verrrrryyy.... low level. I've got a feeling that i'm tired of some repetitive cycles. Going through the same process again, and again, kinda strips down all patience. -.- OH WELL. Self CONTROL. HELPS.

Heartbreak Warfare = BOMB.

I now proclaim my love for no, not John Mayer, but John Mayer's music.
AHHHHHHH!!
(and Eujin rolls his eyes)



Lightning strikes
Inside my chest to keep me up at night
Dream of ways
To make you understand my pain

Clouds of sulphur in the air
Bombs are falling everywhere
It's heartbreak warfare
Once you want it to begin
No one really ever wins
In heartbreak warfare

If you want, more love,
why don't you say so?
If you want, more love,
why don't you say so?

Drop his name
Push it in and twist the knife again
Watch my face
As I pretend to feel no pain

Clouds of sulphur in the air
Bombs are falling everywhere
It's heartbreak warfare
Once you want it to begin,
No one really ever wins
In heartbreak warfare.

If you want, more love,
why don't you say so?
If you want, more love,
why don't you say so?

Just say so...

How come the only way to know how high you get me
is to see how far I fall
God only knows how much I'd love you if you let me
but I can't break through it all.

It's a heartbreak...

I don't care if we don't sleep at all tonight
Let's just fix this whole thing now
I swear to God we're gonna get it right
If you lay your weapon down
Red wine and ambient
You're talking shit again, it's heartbreak warfare
Good to know it's all a game
Disappointment has a name, it's heartbreak warfare

tenth of tenth of ninth.

ON THIS HISTORICAL DAY.....



I studied.

and ate..

and embraced....FACEBOOK.



uploading pictures! cause.. my blog looks naked without em :O

AH. SUPAAAAH HEROAAAH.

Cindy!

50 candles babeh.



it's "god"'s birthday tomorrow. -.-

cheapest way to propose. $$0.00 needed!

So..... exam's on monday! Lets celebrate! -.-

rhythm of my heart -Blake Lewis.

MY BABY IS SO CUTEEEEE AHHH.
(referring to my dog, dont kembang. -.-)


I'm sorry. He's been my dog for nearly 7 yrs and i'm still prone to pinching his face. He's got the most.. adorable looking eyes for a dog. :D

FACT: when he's growling at you, you can still put your finger in his mouth and flick his teeth/tongue. (not sure whether this applies to everyone, but daamn, it definitely applies to me!)


This PMR book-worm phase has taken over my house. My ting ting(wawawweewaa sister) now sleeps at GHOST HOUR... and sometimes, i follow. She asks questions no one in the world can decipher. I now do the same, to my tuition teachers and whoever that comes near enough for me to bother. Bombarding people with nonsensical questions.. sounds like fun ;)


I have another question(from normal day-to-day observations): Is it fun to play with someone's feeling's tho? For example: if someone likes you, makes it clear they like you, does just about anything for you,.... IF you do not feel the same way, please have the decency to tell them..

I JUST DO NOT FEEL THE SAME WAY.

I dont know, its freakishly mind boggling. Do you know what kind of emotional torture the other party is going through? I once read a book, that said... treat others how you want to be treated. I mean, yea. Please.. they probably do not understand what you're thinking. Not everyone is a mind reader. (actually, no one is. O_o) SO YEA, TELLL AHHHHHHH.


However, it'll be quite an awkward scene if someone actually does not harbor any feelings for you then you start the whole... "we've been friends for quite sometime but.. you know... in life..." speech. (imagines). I AM AMUSED. Haha. :D


student+ dying = Studying.


LETS COUNT DOWN. 20 days.. to... never ending time.! There's a few things i wanna do after exams:

+Fantastic 4 outing (the last one was world stage okay. T___T)
+ Ready, SET, go! time
+ work = $$$$
+ moviesssssss. MOVIESSS.


i just want to play after that. Wahaha. :D